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Time-Tested Tips for Getting Referrals from Within Your Sphere of Influence

Aug 19, 2020

Posted by

Maya Bailey

Dr. Maya Bailey, PhD, author of Law of Attraction for Entrepreneurs, integrates 20 years of experience as a psychologist and 12 years as a business coach with her expertise in the Law of Attraction. H Read more

As a business coach for real estate agents, I often hear my clients say to me, “I just can’t pick up the phone and call my sphere of influence.”  “Why not” I ask.  These are some of the responses I usually get:

•  “I don’t know what to say.”

•  “I can’t ask my friends or business.”

•  “I have no reason to call.”¶•  “I don’t want to bug them.”

•  “It’s not okay to call them too often.”

You can readily motivate those within your sphere of influence to refer to you easily and effortlessly. Try these proven steps:

Tip 1: Have a script so you know what to say

What you decide to say may vary from person to person.  The way you talk to a close friend may be quite different from the way you talk to a distant acquaintance.

There is no one formula of what to say.  However, it is very helpful to have something to offer when you call.  One idea that many of my clients have found helpful is to call your sphere of influence and offer to be a referral source for them


In other words, let them know that you have plenty of connections to people who could help them.  For example, you know many painters, electrician’s, plumbers, and so forth and your sphere of influence should know that if they need any names and phone numbers they should call you and you will be happy to provide a referral source for them.

Tip 2: Think of yourself as being “the giver”

Most of us love to be the giver.  We know we will be well-received and people will like us.  We also know that “giving” leads to more business.

Before you pick up the phone to call your sphere of influence ask yourself “what can I give to them?” One way that you could be of service to them, is to offer to be a cross-referral partner.

If they have their own business, ask them how their business is doing. Ask them how you could help them at their business.  Ask them what kind of referrals they would like to receive. Let them know that you will do your best to send referrals to them.  At the end of the conversation, you can say something like, “when you hear of anyone who’s interested in buying or selling a home, please call me with their name and number.  If it’s okay with them,  I will call them and make sure that their real estate needs are being taken care of.”

Tip 3: Send an “Item of Value” each month

What kind of item of value should you send? It used to be that sending newsletters was a hot item.

 However, most people have gotten too busy to read a newsletter.

The item that works the best is a colorful postcard that gives the events happening in their area. The recipient is likely to put that postcard on the refrigerator and refer to it often.

Of course, next to the list of events happening in the area is your photo, your phone number, and your tag line such as “Relax and let me run the extra mile to fulfill your business needs.”

You start to enter their stream of consciousness.

They start to associate positive ideas with you:

• You are associated with happy events in their area,

• You are associated with brilliant bright, happy colors in the postcard,

• Your face smiles at them every time they go to the refrigerator.

Let me ask you, do you think they are more likely to remember you the next time they have a need for your service?

Tip 4: Don’t be afraid to call them often

As long as you have a good reason to call, they will be happy to hear from you.  Trust your own gut instinct about how often you should call them.  Many real estate gurus suggest calling people in your sphere of influence about once a month.  You may choose to do that with your “A list”, the people most likely to refer to you.

Since you are sending an item of value each month, you can always ask them “did you receive the postcard?” You can follow that with, “so what event are you going to go to?”

Tip 5: Assume the positive

Simply assume that they will be happy to hear from you.  Why wouldn’t they be?  They are receiving a wonderful colorful, informative postcard from you each month, then you are calling and offering them something, and you are conditioning them to want to hear from you.

Assume that you have something valuable to offer, your friendship and your expertise, and people want to hear from you.

Tip 6: Be excited about your business

Remember, “desperation does not sell,” but “excitement” does. No matter what the current condition of your business, always say something like, “I am so excited about my business. I get to meet such wonderful people and I’m really in an expansion phase of my business. If you want to help out, just send people my way, I will be happy to help them.”

Tip 7: Use the Law of Attraction

To successfully use the Law of Attraction, you need to be clear about what you want.  What do you want?  Do you want your sphere of influence to send you several clients a month?  If so, then set your intention, “I am now in the process of attracting several new clients from my sphere of influence each month.”

Do you have any opposing beliefs that you need to clear?  The Law of Attraction cannot give you what you want if you have any beliefs that would oppose your desired outcome.

For example, if you want to attract an abundance of prosperity, but you have beliefs like:

• I’ll never really have a lot of money,

• It’s selfish to want more than I have,

• Money can’t buy me happiness,

• Rich people are usually not honest.

If you have any of the above beliefs, those are called “opposing beliefs.” Can you see that you could be doing all the right activities with your sphere of influence, but if you had opposing beliefs like these, you would not be attracting the clients and the income you want?

To get the Law of Attraction to work for you, you need to identify these old self -limiting beliefs, release them and install empowered beliefs.

Here are some examples of empowered beliefs that will help you create the income you want:

• I do deserve an abundance of prosperity.

• It’s okay for me to be grateful for what I have and still want more.

• Money is neutral and can be used for good or evil.

• Money can’t buy me happiness, but I can create a better life for myself and people around me by being prosperous.

Practice repeating your empowered beliefs frequently and train your mind to focus on what you “want”, not on what you “don’t want.” I f you find yourself dwelling on thoughts of scarcity, like “not enough money,” switch your focus and ask yourself “so what do I want?”  Start to notice yourself becoming more positive and attracting more of what you want.  And enjoy your greater success.