Do you have to be hard on yourself
in order to succeed?
When I coach real estate agents in
creating their multiple six-figure incomes, I often hear this misconception:
"I need to be hard on myself in order to succeed."
When I ask about the origin of this
belief, I often receive stories of being conditioned by well-meaning teachers
and parents in a controlling and rigid way. Since we learn to treat ourselves
we were treated, my clients are just carrying on the legacy because they don't
know how else to motivate themselves in order to succeed.
Unfortunately, however, their
strategy actually works against them. Studies have shown that when we are hard
on ourselves, and beat ourselves up, we actually lower our energy. This leads
to decreased motivation and eventually burnout.
So what is the answer? If you're not going to be hard on yourself,
then how do you motivate yourself to succeed?
Fortunately, there is a positive
solution. Research indicates that if we choose a positive and encouraging way
to get ourselves focused and on track; that this can be a very efficient
motivation technique.
Here are some tips on how to change your motivational strategy.
1. Awareness
- Start becoming aware of the words you say to yourself every day in order to
get up to speed. Do they have a positive or negative tone?
Do
they build you up or tear you down?
2. Observe
– Observe your energy when you hear these words. Does your energy increase or
decrease? If you have an inner tyrant,
do you also have an inner rebel?
3. Intervene
- when you become aware of how often and you are being hard on yourself, it's
time to intervene. The best way to break
into your own thoughts is to use the “Stop Technique.”
Here's how it goes:
• Say the word
“STOP” when negative voices arise in you
• Then take a deep
breath to interrupt the pattern
• Finally, put in
a positive new thought
What kind of positive new thoughts
should you install?
I recommend thoughts of positive
self talk, such as:
-
I now motivate myself in a loving and
encouraging way
-
I inspire myself with enthusiasm and energy
-
I treat myself with kindness and respect
Create your own phrases of
self-talk. They can be as simple as saying to yourself: “Good job” or “You are on the right track.”
When you start treating yourself
with more respect, you will notice your energy level increase. Use that increased energy to prioritize your
day, and implement what you planned.
Remember, you don’t need to work
harder; you just need to work smarter.